It is my belief that grief is a heavy load to carry. When it first is given to you, you feel as though you cannot bear up under it; taking a single step is so hard, and taking the next, and the next, and the next after that, is overwhelmingly difficult. It's all you can do to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And sometimes, you can't keep your balance, so you drop to the ground. But you get back up, and keep walking. Gradually, over time, it gets better - not because the burden becomes lighter, but because strength increases, making it easier to bear. Each grief is a separate weight. There is no comparing one to another. But after a new burden is loaded on to you, you feel a little more confident. When a new one is piled onto your back, you know that it is ok to stumble beneath it, that it is ok for it to take time to develop the muscles to carry the new burden. The confidence doesn't make the new burden lighter. The grief is not the less because of earlier griefs. But that confidence can make it a bit less utterly terrifying.